He gets mad when I go to the store and buy things. I don't go off and spoil myself or anything like that. I just go to the store and buy things we need sometimes extra things that aren't a priority. For example today I bought a new comforter set for my son, I know its not like we needed it bad, but it was something Ive been wanting to get for him. Well anyways Im to the point where I feel uncomfortable buying anything. I feel like I should have to consult before I buy anything. Any advice please? Thanks.
Do you work?
If so, sit down with your hubby and divide your combined income into three accounts. His, yours and the family. E.g 10% his, 10% yours, 80% family (housing,rent, food, kids college fund, savings etc). This will give you the opportunity to spend money on the things that you want for yourself, he gets to spend some money on whatever he wants and the needs of the family will not suffer.
If you don't want to do it this way, you can also try setting up a monthly budget. Then you should be able to spend within that budget and since the two of you have agreed to it, there should be no conflicts.
Then I recommend you look at your communication with your husband. Does he react like this despite the amount money you spend? Like, does he get angry you spent 2 dollars on a chocolate? Then try to find out why he gets angry. Is it because of economic difficulties or does he feel you don't consult him enough? Perhaps you should try putting up a buy list on the refrigerator of items you plan to purchase so that he is at least aware of it. Try a weekly 30 min meeting where the two of you go over the items you need in the house.
But make sure that he is not controlling you and that you are not allowed to spend anything on yourself. I would then suggest counseling.
hope this helped.
Good luck
Do you work? If so, then you have the right to spend money as long as its around your budget and the bills are paid first.
Divorce is not always the answer esp. if you have kids involved. Its something you can talk about it to work things out. You dont just file divorce everytime you have problems. Problems are part of marriage thats why its best to communicate with him. Tell him how you feel and maybe you guys can compromise on something.
Also its not bad to consult to him everytime you want to buy something after all your married. I always let my husband know when I want to go buy something he complains sometimes but i got used to it. Most of the time if i reason to him like how its on sale and its been awhile since i bought stuff then, he doesnt mind. Its part of being married.
Let me know when you figure it out. My husband also gets mad at me too, but he spends way more money...
Talk to him about you two each getting an "allowance" that you can spend on whatever you want.
He is your partner, meaning you guys work as one. You should consult him and he should consult you.
If your using your own money, tell him to go f*ck himself. If your using his money, lay low.
I am a SAHM...so I don't get a paycheck...I take care of the bills and buy what we need for our family...My husband has no problem with me spending money...However, I am more of a saver and not a spender...I can't advise you without knowing more details about your finances...What I would suggest is that when you intend on making purchases that go over $100..that you consult your husband and you both come to an agreement....Especially with the unsteady economy we are currently in....
I have had this same problem with my husband. He is the sole provider and most days, he leaves money out for me. Not always a lot but can be anywhere from a couple of dollars to 10 or 15. You see, he drives taxi. Anyway, there were times when I would go out and buy things, not always needed but wanted to get for a while. Well, now, to save on fights and arguements, I save my money. Depending on how much I am able to save, in a weeks time, I go and spend my money on whatever I want. Whether it is going to the grocery store or getting my nails done. Then he cant get mad. Even if he tries to get mad, I say its my money and I saved to be able to do this. LOL. He hates it when I do that.
Good Luck~
Why do you do it if it makes him angry? Does he have different priorities than you, i.e. trying to get out of debt. save for retirement, something? Next time try this, don't talk to him about it ahead about your "feelings" that isn't the point. When you are going shopping, say to him, I need to go get Jr. some clothes, he needs 3 pairs of jeans, some pj's some undies & socks. I plan to spend about $150 is that okay with you? Be honest, give him a realistic expectation and allow him to be involved in the decision about your (both of your) money. He isn't trying to control YOU he is trying to control the families spending. If you want to buy a comforter set for example, tell him ahead, or when you are there, cal him and say, hey babe, I found this great comforter set, I want to buy it, what do you think???
See if that helps, it worked for me!
Stop buying anything. I am sure once the cupboards and frig are bare and there is no food on the table he will lighten up a bit. I wonder what his spending habits are. Perhaps if you sat down with him and he explained the household books you could tell if there really is a financial crises or not. Good Luck.
Do you work? I don't see why you can't buy things if you have an income as well.
Could be a much bigger issue that he isn't able to verbalize yet, so start by asking if he'd like you to call him before you spend a certain amount. You ARE aware that the economy is in the toilet? Perhaps a new comforter for your son was just the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back.
Realize that this is just another way he is trying to control you.
You are his WIFE, not his DOG.
If he cannot figure out the difference, divorce him.
All I CAN SAY IS THAT GOD I HAVE MY OWN MONEY!
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